Hulleye Comes By!

what a stoner party. catch shoaib singing. turns out he’s got a half decent voice after all.

when i come across tribute pages to coke like this one, they really tick me off. most of it just rubbish collected on the internet that got forwarded around on the web in some form or another. not really sure how these rumours start. snopes as usual has all the correct answers and does all the mythbusting for you. and to make a quick point, your tooth or nail is never gonna dissolve, you won’t be able to clean blood or start your car’s battery with it either.

image courtesy teeth maestro.

being of bohra ethnicity, i hate it when i find news like this.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/4480252.stm

we just wanna pray and eat food. can’t you leave us alone. some more details below. my taaziyat and dua go with the deceased and their families.

In a shocking tragedy yesterday in Iraq 3 Mumineen from London were killed when the minibus they were travelling in was ambushed by gunmen at a checkpoint near Baghdad airport.

The 3 men, Shaikh Yahya bhai Ghulamali, Shaikh Saifuddin Qutbi (Makai) and Shaikh Husain Mohammedali were in a party of 4 Mumineen bhaiyo and 1 bahen who had set out on ziyarat of Karbala and Najaf with the niyyat of Huzurala’s (tus) tuulul umr.

Shaikh Saifuddin bhai and Shaikh Husain bhai both died at the scene whilst Shaikh Yahya bhai succumbed to his injuries this morning following surgery. The other two members also suffered from gunshot wounds but are not in any danger.

Mumineen in London converged on Husaini Masjid to offer the families sympathy and support with Shahzada Ammar bhaisaheb Jamaluddin spendin nearly an hour consoling them at the side of Al-Muqaddasah Busaheba’s ziyarat.

Both Shaikh Saifuddin and Shaikh Husain bhai leave behind young families of 3 and 4 children repectively. Shaikh Yahya bhai also leaves a family and grandchildren with his son just recently married. The three men were dedicated servants of the community; sincere,honest and devoted. Their khidmat was performed from the heart, both physically and through their material wealth. No matter how small or large the khidmat they were on hand to do it, from arranging the parking of cars to organising the reception and ziyafat of Aqamola(tus) they were there in body and soul unfailingly. They will be sorely missed by the Mumineen of the UK and London in particular.

We offer our taaziyat, condolence and dua to the families of thedeceased. They must bear with the tragedy and we wish them sabr by the Dua of Imam Husain (as) and Imam Husain’s Dai (tus) in this devastating time.

The 3 men had the sharaf of ziyarat and daakhili of Imam Husain (as) in Karbala and now they are in his jiwaar for ever.

Grandmaster Tu Jin-Sheng, best known for his Iron Crotch, attached his penis to a rental moving truck and pulled it several yards across a parking lot in Fremont. In lace-up leather boots and a black tank top, the 50-year-old tied a strip of blue fabric around the base of his penis and testicles and tugged to make sure it was on tight. An assistant kicked him hard between the legs before he lashed himself to the vehicle…

Physicists suspect they have created the first molecules from atoms that meld matter with antimatter.

Allen Mills of the University of California, Riverside, and his colleagues say they have seen telltale signs of positronium molecules, made from two positronium atoms.

Positronium is an other-worldly mimic of hydrogen… just as hydrogen atoms will combine to form two-atom molecules, so it should be possible in theory to unite two positronium atoms to form a molecule, which would be written as Ps₂.

But positronium does not exist naturally, because matter and antimatter annihilate one another when they meet, releasing a burst of energy. When a positron and electron are combined artificially to create a positronium atom, as was first done in 1951, it quickly self-destructs, emitting energy as a gamma ray…

in memorium. pat morita passed away on november 24th, 2005. he was best known as mr. miyagi from the karate kid.

A Thanksgiving Prayer by William S. Burroughs. If you don’t know who he is, you can’t consider yourself well read. Click on this link. (.mov file)

For John Dillinger,
In hope he is still alive
Thanksgiving Day, November 28, 1986

Thanks for the wild turkey and the Passenger Pigeons, destined to be shit out through wholesome American guts

thanks for a Continent to despoil and poison —

thanks for Indians to provide a modicum of challenge and danger —

thanks for vast herds of bison to kill and skin, leaving the carcass to rot —

thanks for bounties on wolves and coyotes —

thanks for the AMERICAN DREAM to vulgarize and falsify until the bare lies shine through —

thanks for the KKK, for nigger-killing lawmen feeling their notches, for decent church-going women with their mean, pinched, bitter, evil faces —

thanks for “Kill a Queer for Christ” stickers —

thanks for laboratory AIDS —

thanks for Prohibition and the War Against Drugs —

thanks for a country where nobody is allowed to mind his own business —

thanks for a nation of finks — yes, thanks for all the memories… all right, let’s see your arms… you always were a headache and you always were a bore —

thanks for the last and greatest betrayal of the last and greatest of human dreams.

Link to .mov

via boingboing.

When Albert Einstein was working on his equations for the theory of general relativity, he threw in a cosmological constant to bring the universe into harmonious equilibrium. But subsequent observations by Edwin Hubble proved that the universe was not static. Rather, galaxies were flying apart at varying speeds. Einstein abandoned the concept, calling it the biggest blunder of his life’s work.

Observations in the 1990s, however, proved that the universe was not only flying apart, it was doing so faster and faster. This seemed to point to a dark energy filling space that actually repelled ordinary matter with its gravity, in contrast to all other known stuff, including dark matter. A number of theories have been developed to explain what this dark energy might be, including Einstein’s long discarded cosmological constant.

More here.

inspired by umar’s post on doublespeak, here’s a few quotes of the day speaking on behalf as an account rep.

When they say, “The client wants to move in a new direction…”
They mean, “I want to move in a new direction…”

When they say, “The client believes your idea may be detrimental to their business.”
They mean, “I have no idea what your idea means. Does it have like, science or something?”

When they say, “The client still hasn’t come to a decision on that yet.”
They mean, “I forgot to call the client. Again.”

When they say, “This is a rush project.”
They mean, “I just found this folder behind my desk. It’s been there since last September.”

When they say, “This project requires your utmost attention.”
They mean, “I haven’t read the client’s briefing. You do it.”

When they say, “I need some time to look this over.”
They mean, “I want to surf porn in my office.”

When they say, “Let’s regroup to discuss this.”
They mean, “I’d rather blather on than do a lick of work.”

When they say, “You didn’t follow this project to specs.”
They mean, “I didn’t take notes in the meetings, this project is fucked and somehow I’m going to pin it on you.”

When they say, “This will have to go through the legal department while I’m on vacation.”
They mean, “The client will be getting sued for my stupidity, so I’m leaving town ASAP.”

When they say, “That answer doesn’t sit well with me.”
They mean, “I had Taco Bell for lunch.”

okay so this is one hilarious video i found recently floating around in gmail forwards. so figured i’d post it up and share it. makes good clean fun of how ridiculous bollywood can get some times.

also faraz, send me a video a long time ago and somehow had it lying around so i figured i’d share this parody of natalie imbruglia’s torn as well.

along with a sexy pic of sergey brin.

about time someone did a study of something i’ve always known but have quite a bit of a hard time explaining to people. so there you have it. in plain black and white. eat whatever the hell you want. you won’t die. and STOP COUNTING THOSE DAMN CALORIES! it’s bloody annoying. can’t have a decent meal in peace if you’re around one of those health freakazoids. the only unhealthy thing about a meal is sitting and counting calories along with every bite. ever try watching commercials on television lately? it’s sickening. well, about time these freaks get some sense kicked into them.

one word of advice though, stick to natural organic foods. that’s what God wanted you to eat. he didn’t want you to eat some other companies profits because they could do it bigger and cheaper using chemicals.

this is a fascinating, absolutely fascinating, interview of an old lady named doris payne. she is an international jewelery thief and has stolen jewellery all over the world. how she operated and what brought her to such circumstances are all documented in this interview and makes for some very intriguing reading. do check it out.

There was the February day, eight years ago, when she strolled into the Neiman Marcus store on the Las Vegas Strip and asked to see a pair of diamond earrings.

Hmm, she said. She’d think about it over lunch.

She returned and asked to see diamond rings. Employee Linda Sbrocco showed her several — this one … no, this one … how about that one? Soon Sbrocco was swapping jewelry in and out of cases at a dizzying pace. Payne slipped rings on and off, and had Sbrocco do the same.

Then Payne was gone. And so was a $36,000 marquis cut, 2.48-carat diamond ring.

This was how Doris Payne went about her work as an international jewel thief.

Read on.

“Did you ever get to thinking that maybe you are just an android, placed on Earth by an advanced civilization of huge radish-like aliens who are studying your every move?”
“No.”
“Me neither.”
– Dogbert, Dilbert, Dogbert

From the news feed on the right side of the page, we get a story of a goddamn radish for crying out loud.

A giant white radish that won the hearts of a Japanese town by valiantly growing through the urban asphalt was in intensive care at a town hall in western Japan on Thursday after being slashed by an unknown assailant.

Great. Just great. In other news, did you hear about the man who named is horse Radish?

rumours are abound on the blogosphere about riya having been acquired by google. om malik started the first one off. since then, the blogosphere has been going crazy with this rumour, and because of which it has made the front page for technorati. they got cool t-shirts now too.

MSNBC says that Mr. T has been signed to deliver celebrity voice content for mobile GPS navigation systems. He will replace the computer generated voice typically provided and guide the driver with basic instructions such as “turn left”, the difference being he’ll add, “I aint playin” and then threaten you. Seriously. Other commands include “Pay attention to what I’m saying,” and “Mr. T gonna get you there in one piece … you gonna be there safely, or else!” Make no mistake about it, if you don’t pay attention and drive carefully, Mr. T will kick your ass. He’s not joking. A GPS that screams at you to drive safely while you search for street signs might actually cause more accidents than it prevents, but, still, awesome right.

Burt Reynolds and Dennis Hopper have also signed on to provide directions, and you can hear T scream at you to pay attention and keep him cool here.

via wwtdd. seriously though, go and listen to those sound clips, they’re hilarious.

the physics behind dipping your hand in molten lead, lying on a bed of nails and a cement block bashing into you, and walking on broken glass. plus one more but since nobody i know who has access to a space tile, it’s irrelevant.

the truths you don’t want to read. WELL READ THEM BEFORE YOU’RE A TUB OF LARD!

thanks faraz.

while we’re on the topic,

A woman receiving treatment for diabetes at a state-run hospital in eastern India lost one of her eyes after ants nibbled away at it, officials said today.

The patient, recovering from a post-surgery infection, shrieked for help as the ants attacked her on Sunday night, but nurses told her it was normal to feel pain from the infection.

Yesterday, the patient’s family saw a gaping hole with swarming ants in it when they lifted the bandage on her left eye.

Authorities of the Sambhunath Hospital in Kolkata said they were probing the incident…

Many insects go back and forth between their nests and a food source multiple times. But if the route to the food is very similar to the route away from it, then the foragers might get confused and not know which way to go. Different insects have different ways of dealing with this problem. Bees use the sun as their compass. But ants use visual landmarks and let their stomachs guide their way, a new study finds. Wood ants were trained to walk in a straight line alongside a black wall to reach a sugar reward at the other end. In this way, the ants learned that the wall would be on their left side when walking towards the sugar but on their right side when walking away from it back home.

More here.

via 3quarks.

so there are all sorts of people out there who believe in a lot of things and who don’t believe in a lot of things. here is a comprehensive page listing most of the scientific references mentioned in the Quran based on harun yahya’s lectures. believe or disbelieve what you wish from it, i’m just linking as a point of reference. let it be known that most such ideas and webpages are biased towards what the author wishes to extract from the context. i just thought it made for interesting reading. the webpage also covers matters of history, mathematics, foods, and other predictions that are found in the Quran. to me, the most interesting was the science. unlike most other such resources, the site doesn’t go into depths of translations, footnotes, and references from five million other historical texts making it for an easy read.

ever wonder what the costs of archiving data were?

check this crazy history out.

Manufacturer Capacity Price of Drive Cost per MB

IBM 1956 5 MB U$50,000 U$10,000
Morrow Designs 1980 26MB U$5000 U$193

it’s been a bit of a slow day. been a bit busy. didn’t really find anything interesting as such to post. here’s a parody of star trek: tng as if written by dr. seuss.

Author: Dave Fuller

Picard: Sigma Indri, that’s the star,
So, Data, please, how far? How far?

Data: Our ship can get there very fast
But still the trip will last and last
We’ll have two days til we arrive
But can the Indrans there survive?

Picard: LaForge, please give us factor nine.

LaForge: But, sir, the engines are offline!

Picard: Offline! But why? I want to go!
Please make it so, please make it so!

Riker: But sir, if Geordi says we can’t,
We can’t, we mustn’t, and we shan’t,
The danger here is far too great!

Picard: But surely we must not be late!

Troi: I’m sensing anger and great ire.

Computer: Alert! Alert! The ship’s on fire!

Picard: The ship’s on fire? How could this be?
Who lit the fire?

Riker: Not me.

Worf: Not me.

Picard: Computer, how long til we die?

Computer: Eight minutes left to say goodbye.

Data: May I suggest a course to take?
We could, I think, quite safely make
Extinguishers from tractor beams
And stop the fire, or so it seems…

Geordi: Hurray! Hurray! You’ve saved the day!
Again I say, Hurray! Hurray!

Picard: Mr. Data, thank you much.
You’ve saved our lives, our ship, and such.

Troi: We still must save the Indran planet –

Data: Which (by the way) is made of granite…

Picard: Enough, you android. Please desist.
We understand — we get your gist.
But can we get our ship to go?
Please, make it so, PLEASE make it so.

Geordi: There’s sabotage among the wires
And that’s what started all the fires.

Riker: We have a saboteur? Oh, no!
We need to go! We need to go!

Troi: We must seek out the traitor spy
And lock him up and ask him why?

Worf: Ask him why? How sentimental.
I say give him problems dental.

Troi: Are any Romulan ships around?
Have scanners said that they’ve been found?
Or is it Borg or some new threat
We haven’t even heard of yet?
I sense no malice in this crew.
Now what are we supposed to do?

Crusher: Captain, please, the Indrans need us.
They cry out, “Help us, clothe us, feed us!”
I can’t just sit and let them die!
A doctor MUST attempt — MUST try!

Picard: Doctor, please, we’ll get there soon.

Crusher: They may be dead by Tuesday noon.

*COMMERCIAL BREAK, COMMERCIAL BREAK
HOW LONG WILL THESE DUMB ADS TAKE?*

Worf: The saboteur is in the brig.
He’s very strong and very big.
I had my phaser set on stun –
A zzzip! A zzzap! Another one!
He would not budge, he would not fall,
He would not stun, no, not at all!
He changed into a stranger form
All soft and purple, round and warm.

Picard: Did you see this, Mr. Worf?
Did you see this creature morph?

Worf: I did and then I beat him fairly.
Hit him on the jaw — quite squarely.

Riker: My commendations, Klingon friend!
Our troubles now are at an end!

Crusher: Now let’s get our ship to fly
And orbit yonder Indran sky!

Picard: LaForge, please tell me we can go…?

Geordi: Yes, sir, we can.

Picard: Then make it so!

Copyright © 1995 Dave Fuller.

good ol doug’ adams in 1999.

1) Everything that’s already in the world when you’re born is just normal;

2) anything that gets invented between then and before you turn thirty is incredibly exciting and creative and with any luck you can make a career out of it;

3) anything that gets invented after you’re thirty is against the natural order of things and the beginning of the end of civilisation as we know it until it’s been around for about ten years when it gradually turns out to be alright really.

i don’t know how many of you are/were yo-yo fans growing up but i’ve been fascinated by them since i was a kid. my favourite yo-yo was the midnight duncan and over the years i’ve become pretty good at yo-yo tricks and learnt that it’s not just a toy to fool around with but requires skill, dexterity and coordination. but not quite as good as this guy.

remember when i wrote about inventions? well the smithsonian mag is running articles about something even harder. innovations. they’re running a list of the top innovators of current times. i’m so happy to see david attenborough on the list.

via 3quarksdaily.

riya gets reviewed by wired. if you want a riya account and you think i already have a picture of you, then let me know and i’ll share it with you which will enable you create an account on their system. if not, send me one.